Have you ever been caught in a tug of war between two seemingly different points of view?
Staying stuck in conflicting points of view wastes time, creates frustration and often results in people getting further entrenched in their position. When two positions exist that appear to be in total conflict, here are steps to get unstuck:
- Get clear on your position. Remove emotion and judgment of the other position. What do you want, what do you believe and what are your assumptions?
- Shift your perspective by looking at the other person’s point of view. Make sure each person understands the point of view that is different than their own.
- Lift the conversation. Look for something you can agree on. What is the shared value or result that can encompass both points of view?
For example, one person believes that she does incredible work when she has quiet and solitude. Another person believes that when he actively engages with other people his work output is superior. So one person wants to be alone and the other person wants to work together. They both value excellent work so they focus on how to do amazing work rather than convincing each other to adopt their work practices. Once the focus is shifted to the outcome of fabulous work then they can discuss new options.
When you get stuck in a seemingly unmovable place, there is another way. Get clear on each position shift your perspective and lift the conversation to a higher level. When you find a higher focus you will create a space within which both points of view can find new solutions.